Friend of Stephen - 2014 to present

I met Stephen Reid in 2014 and have remained in mostly his life since then bar times of personal ill health.

It feels extremely important to me to offer my subjective view point in light of the allegations. I have been apart of the community at many of the times mentioned and am able to give my witness.

I have always known Stephen to be a considered man, he is also inspiring at times, at times he has been a mystery and felt difficult to reach. In 2015 He and I travelled in California together where we met and learnt about the Psychedelic Assisted Therapy research at the California Institute of Integral Studies. We also met and learned about the progressive and positive breakthroughs an organisation called MAPS were making in the field. And we saw how this community of people, wanting to explore all the corners and edges of being human were doing it.

During this trip found Steve to be humble and curious, and generous with the expansive connections he made. He showed me where I was being self-centred through his dedication to fairness and sharing. When I first met Steve and still to this day I find him to have a childlike quality, a gentleness and kindness.

There was a point that Stephen and I decided to explore a possible romantic thread between us at this point Stephen was proudly exploring non-monogamy. Our interactions had some jarring moments where I didn’t feel emotionally held by Stephen and wished there was a deeper feeling.

At that time I was painfully triggered by non-monogamy in many situations and also really wanted to find a stable partner. This is still something I am looking for and I am still finding myself having jarring moments as I navigate dating now with a greater maturity.

This is hard because I have been hurt and damaged by my past intimate relationships with men and I feel angry when I think of it. I did not feel damaged by my interactions with Stephen. But I recognise that it is possible to cause real harm in our relating to one another.

I have found that his role and his power in creating community and events is largely down to his competence and dedication to admin, he is able to do long and large amounts of research and implementation of data that others do not have the capacity or the will this leads him to success and positions of power. I often tried to praise him for the work that he had done I remember on serval accounts him saying to me ‘Look what we’ve all done’, I felt he wanted to acknowledge our collective power and responsibility.

About a year after I met Steve, I accidentally joined a Balinese cult with a guru called Ratu Bagus. This involved having images of the gurus face and shaking and singing whilst saying his name and kissing his feet also being included. The benefits were kundalini awakening and cosmic adventure into other dimensions. I lost my mind, my health, fours years of my life, my savings there have since been transgressions emerging of his behaviour. This caused me a lot of suffering, since then I have found my way to emotional autonomy through the help of therapy. At this time in my life I was really searching for a way to heal and ended up being further traumatised. Since coming back to health I have been so grateful for the welcoming back I have felt from Stephen and others in the community I feel loved and respected. I include this to say that I am aware of a distinct difference between the power imbalance I experienced in the guru situation and any experience I have had with any event that involved the Psychedelic Society or Steve.

I am now training as a psychotherapist and understand the harm that we all cause each other when living out past trauma is astounding.

I have also spent time unpicking my own relationship to white supremacy, the training I do is with a non-white teacher who checks me and calls me out on my blindspots. I have compassion for the suffering of those systematically oppressed, I feel the training I have done in restoring my nervous system would allow me to move forward without overwhelming fragility.

— Roisin Mccarthy Green